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2009. 5. 12. 08:03 TiMe KiLLiNG

誠に申しわけありません!
ここは、きれい好き、清潔好き、潔癖な方のためのサイトです。

そうでない方には、お役に立ちません。

消臭剤や芳香剤にたよらない、汚れのもとを絶つアイデア商品

小便の飛び散りを防ぎ、清潔なトイレを実現する「天使のひざ枕」
ひざに優しく安定感のある、トイレの新スタイル
奥様(家族)を想う男(ひと)の必需品

トイレットマナーボード「天使のひざ枕」

幸運の女神は、きれいなトイレを好みます!
私には、悩みがひとつありました。
台所もお風呂もきれいにしていましたが、トイレだけはできませんでした。
毎日掃除をしても、あのトイレ臭は残っていました。
今、うちのトイレでは、
汚れのもとが全部便器内におさまり、水洗で流されていきます。

トイレの臭いの最大の原因は、小便の飛び散りです。
目に見えない飛沫が、便器周辺の床に、壁に、飛び散っています。
便器のまわりには、跳ね返りやポタ落ちも。
男性が多いうちは、いつもトイレが汚れがちです。
座ってしてもらっても、前の方が汚れています。
消臭剤や芳香剤も、所詮はその場しのぎ。
臭いのもとを絶つ新スタイルで、
汚れない、臭わない、夢の住まいを実現しました。

消臭剤や芳香剤にたよらずに、臭いのもとを絶つ新スタイル

立ちスタイル
立ちスタイルのイメージ

座りスタイル
座りスタイルのイメージ

ひざ立ちスタイル
ひざ立ちスタイルのイメージ

天使のひざ枕DX

価格(1組) 5,800円(税込)

天使のひざ枕DXイラスト

天使のひざ枕DX写真

一滴でも床に落ちるのが、いやなあなたに!

サイズ
幅:約15cm×奥行:約31cm×高さ:約23cm(1個)

材 質
本体:ポリウレタン樹脂・ウレタン塗装
クッション部:ウレタンスポンジ・ビニールレザー張り

重 量
約900g(1個)

耐荷重
約120kg

付属品
取扱説明書(付録:トイレの臭い解決の手引き)

■特許出願済み【特願2007-290931】【特願2008-269127】

■商標登録 【第5157179号】

注文

天使のひざ枕エコ

価格(1個) 4,800円(税込)

天使のひざ枕エコイラスト

天使のひざ枕エコ写真

飛び散り、跳ね返りを、許せないあなたに!

サイズ
幅:約51cm×奥行:約22cm×高さ:約14cm

材 質
本体:木製・クリヤラッカー塗装
クッション部:ウレタンスポンジ・ビニールレザー張り

重 量
約1,350g

耐荷重
約120kg

付属品
取扱説明書(付録:トイレの臭い解決の手引き)

■特許出願済み【特願2007-290931】【特願2008-269127】

■商標登録 【第5157179号】

注文

天使のひざ枕DXイメージ
DXタイプの設置としまい方
床置型小便器への設置(DXタイプ)

天使のひざ枕エコイメージ エコタイプの設置としまい方

床置型小便器への設置(エコタイプ)

トイレの不快臭の原因ランキング

臭いが気になるトイレは、次のいずれかに該当します。「天使のひざ枕 取扱説明書」には「トイレの臭い解決の手引き」が付いており、すべての原因について、誰でも簡単にできる効果的な解決法を提供しています。

  • 第1位 男性の尿の飛び散り
  • 第2位 下水の臭いの逆流
  • 第3位 換気方法のまちがいと勘違い
  • 第4位 こびりついた尿石
  • 第5位 トイレ内に置いた掃除用具
  • 第6位 便器使用法のまちがいと勘違い
  • 第7位 掃除方法のまちがいと勘違い

NPO法人住宅検査協会による平成17年~19年の調査データです。他の調査機関でもほぼ同じような結果です。

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posted by ExclamationMark™
2009. 5. 12. 08:00 iNFoMaTioN

The Best of Eyetrack III:
What We Saw When We Looked Through Their Eyes
By Steve Outing and Laura Ruel
Eyetrack III project managers

(Este artículo está disponible en español)

News websites have been with us for about a decade, and editors and designers still struggle with many unanswered questions: Is homepage layout effective? ... What effect do blurbs on the homepage have compared to headlines? ... When is multimedia appropriate? ... Are ads placed where they will be seen by the audience?

The Eyetrack III research released by The Poynter Institute, the Estlow Center for Journalism & New Media, and Eyetools could help answer those questions and more. Eyetracking research like this won't provide THE answer to those questions. But combined with other site metrics already used by news website managers -- usability testing, focus groups, log analysis -- the Eyetrack III findings could provide some direction for improving news websites.

In Eyetrack III, we observed 46 people for one hour as their eyes followed mock news websites and real multimedia content. In this article we'll provide an overview of what we observed. You can dive into detailed Eyetrack III findings and observations on this website -- use the navigation at the top and left of this page -- at any time. If you don't know what eyetracking is, get oriented by reading the Eyetrack III FAQ.

Let's get to the key results of the study, but first, a quick comment on what this study is and is not: It is a preliminary study of several dozen people conducted in San Francisco. It is not an exhaustive exploration that we can extrapolate to the larger population. It is a mix of "findings" based on controlled variables, and "observations" where testing was not as tightly controlled. The researchers went "wide," not "deep" -- covering a lot of ground in terms of website design and multimedia factors. We hope that Eyetrack III is not seen as an end in itself, but rather as the beginning of a wave of eyetracking research that will benefit the news industry. OK, let's begin. ...


At the core: Homepage layout

While testing our participants' eye movements across several news homepage designs, Eyetrack III researchers noticed a common pattern: The eyes most often fixated first in the upper left of the page, then hovered in that area before going left to right. Only after perusing the top portion of the page for some time did their eyes explore further down the page.


Depending on page layout, of course, this pattern can vary. The image above is a simplistic representation of the most common eye-movement pattern we noticed across multiple homepage designs. (In other words, don't take what you see above too seriously.)

Now also consider another Eyetrack observation: Dominant headlines most often draw the eye first upon entering the page -- especially when they are in the upper left, and most often (but not always) when in the upper right. Photographs, contrary to what you might expect (and contrary to findings of 1990 Poynter eyetracking research on print newspapers), aren't typically the entry point to a homepage. Text rules on the PC screen -- both in order viewed and in overall time spent looking at it.

A quick review of 25 large news websites -- here's a list of them -- reveals that 20 of them place the dominant homepage image in the upper left. (Most news sites have a consistent page design from day to day; they don't often vary the layout as a print newspaper would.)

We observed that with news homepages, readers' instincts are to first look at the flag/logo and top headlines in the upper left. The graphic below shows the zones of importance we formulated from the Eyetrack data. While each site is different, you might look at your own website and see what content you have in which zones.


[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about homepage layout here.]


Want people to read, not scan? Consider small type

The Eyetrack III researchers discovered something important when testing headline and type size on homepages: Smaller type encourages focused viewing behavior (that is, reading the words), while larger type promotes lighter scanning. In general, our testing found that people spent more time focused on small type than large type. Larger type resulted in more scanning of the page -- fewer words overall were fixated on -- as people looked around for words or phrases that captured their attention.

This was especially the case when we looked at headline size on homepages. Larger headlines encouraged scanning more than smaller ones.

(Note: We are not advocating that you run out and reduce the size of your font across the board. You should make sure that people can read the font size you select in order to achieve the appropriate balance.)

Particularly interesting was people's behavior when there were headlines and blurbs used on homepages. Eyetrack III test participants tended to view both the headline and blurb when the headline was bold and the same size as blurb text and immediately preceded the blurb on the same line.

With a headline larger than the blurb and on a separate line, people tended to view the headlines and skip the blurbs; they scanned the headlines throughout the page more than the group that looked at the smaller headlines.

Researchers believe that it is the contrast in type size that accounts for this behavior, as well as the type size itself. When a headline is larger than its accompanying blurb text, it's perceived as the important element of the headline-blurb block -- so people appear to decide that viewing the headline is sufficient and they skip the blurb.

Underlined headlines discouraged testers from viewing blurbs on the homepage:

This may be related to a phenomenon that we noted throughout the testing: visual breaks -- like a line or rule -- discouraged people from looking at items beyond the break, like a blurb. (This also affects ads, which we address below.)

When we look at news websites, we find that the vast majority of them (22 out of 25) use blurbs to accompany headlines on their homepages. It's the rare ones that use only headlines: CNN.com, NYPost.com, and ProJo.com. In terms of headline size, we observed about an even split between using larger type size for headlines vs. smaller type.

We found that 12 out of 22 news sites that use blurbs on their homepage put rules under their headlines.

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about type and blurbs here and here.]


Partial viewing of headlines, blurbs found to be common

We found that when people look at blurbs under headlines on news homepages, they often only look at the left one-third of the blurb. In other words, most people just look at the first couple of words -- and only read on if they are engaged by those words.

Here's a heatmap of a blurb demonstrating this. (A heatmap is an aggregate view of all the eye fixations of our test subjects. Below, the orange area was viewed the most, the blue areas the least.)

With a list of headlines on a homepage, we can see where people looked with eyetracking -- and again, most often it's the left sides of the headlines. People typically scan down a list of headlines, and often don't view entire headlines. If the first words engage them, they seem likely to read on. On average, a headline has less than a second of a site visitor's attention.

For headlines -- especially longer ones -- it would appear that the first couple of words need to be real attention-grabbers if you want to capture eyes.

The same goes for blurbs -- perhaps even more so. Our findings about blurbs suggest that not only should they be kept short, but the first couple of words need to grab the viewer's attention.

On the 25 news websites we reviewed, there's considerable variety in blurbs. Average blurb length varies from a low of about 10 words to a high of 25, with most sites coming in around 17.

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about blurbs here.]


What creates "hot spots"?

In Eyetrack III, we tested several homepage designs, watching where on the page people looked. As you would expect, lower parts of the page -- especially areas you have to scroll to view -- receive modest viewing. But that doesn't mean you can't get people to look at content low on a scrolling page.

On a couple of our test homepages, we found "hot spots" for some stories. Perhaps because our testing took place in San Francisco, research subjects were drawn to one story about the site "Craig's List" (a local online community popular since its inception in 1995). The headline for that story had an inordinate number of eye fixations compared to surrounding content, even though it was below the first visible screen of the page. We observed a similarly high number of eye fixations on a headline about clothing maker FCUK, which was placed far down on a page with a long list of headlines and blurbs.

We think this spells good news for those websites with homepages that extend well beyond the initial screen view. Eyetrack III found that people do typically look beyond the first screen. What happens, however, is that their eyes typically scan lower portions of the page seeking something to grab their attention. Their eyes may fixate on an interesting headline or a stand-out word, but not on other content. Again, this points to the necessity of sharp headline writing.

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about homepage design here and here.]


Where's your navigation?

While testing several homepage designs, we varied the placement of a navigation element: top (under the flag or logo), left column, and right column.

Navigation placed at the top of a homepage performed best -- that is, it was seen by the highest percentage of test subjects and looked at for the longest duration. In a survey of 25 top news sites, we found 11 that used top position navigation. The other 14 used left navigation. Seven of the 25 used left and top navigation elements. None of the 25 sites we surveyed used right side navigation. It's rare, but you can find right navigation in the news website world.

It might surprise you to learn that in our testing we observed better usage (more eye fixations and longer viewing duration) with right-column navigation than left. While this might have been the novelty factor at play -- people aren't used to seeing right-side navigation -- it may indicate that there's no reason not to put navigation on the right side of the page and use the left column for editorial content or ads.

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about navigation here.]


What about article layout, writing style?

Eyetrack III results suggests various characteristics of article writing and layout can affect a reader's viewing behavior.

For example, let's take average paragraph length. Most news sites run articles with medium-length paragraphs -- somewhere (loosely) around 45-50 words, or two or three sentences. In a survey of 25 top news sites, however, we did find seven that routinely edited articles to make paragraphs shorter -- often only one sentence per paragraph.

Shorter paragraphs performed better in Eyetrack III research than longer ones. Our data revealed that stories with short paragraphs received twice as many overall eye fixations as those with longer paragraphs. The longer paragraph format seems to discourage viewing.

Most news website article pages present stories in a single column of text, but a handful of sites -- like IHT.com and TheHerald.co.uk -- mimic newspaper layout and present articles in two or three side-by-side columns. Is this as readable as the traditional (for the Web) one-column article format?

Eyetrack III results showed that the standard one-column format performed better in terms of number of eye fixations -- in other words, people viewed more. However, bear in mind that habit may have affected this outcome. Since most people are accustomed to one-column Web articles, the surprise of seeing three-column type might have affected their eye behavior.

What about photos on article pages? It might surprise you that our test subjects typically looked at text elements before their eyes landed on an accompanying photo, just like on homepages. As noted earlier, the reverse behavior (photos first) occurred in previous print eyetracking studies.

Finally, there's the use of summary descriptions (extended deck headlines, paragraph length) leading into articles. These were popular with our participants. When our testers encountered a story with a boldface introductory paragraph, 95 percent of them viewed all or part of it.

When people viewed an introductory paragraph for between 5 and 10 seconds -- as was often the case -- their average reading behavior of the rest of the article was about the same as when they viewed articles without a summary paragraph. The summary paragraph made no difference in terms of how much of the story was consumed.

Just over 20 percent of the leading news websites regularly use summary paragraphs with articles.

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about article layout here.]


Advertising

Eyetrack III tested a variety of ad placements and formats across our various hompages and article-level pages.

The first thing we noticed is that people often ignore ads, but that depends a lot on placement. When they do gaze at an ad, it's usually for only 0.5 to 1.5 seconds. Good placement and the right format can improve those figures.

We found that ads in the top and left portions of a homepage received the most eye fixations. Right side ads didn't do as well, and ads at the bottom of the page were seen, typically, by only a small percentage of people.

Close proximity to popular editorial content really helped ads get seen. We noticed that when an ad was separated from editorial matter by either white space or a rule, the ad received fewer fixations than when there was no such barrier. Ads close to top-of-the-page headlines did well. A banner ad above the homepage flag didn't draw as many fixations as an ad that was below the flag and above editorial content.

Text ads were viewed most intently, of all the types we tested. On our test pages, text ads got an average eye duration time of nearly 7 seconds; the best display-type ad got only 1.6 seconds, on average.

Size matters. Bigger ads had a better chance of being seen. Small ads on the right side of homepages typically were seen by only one-third of our testers; the rest never once cast an eye on them. On article pages, "half-page" ads were the most intensely viewed by our test subjects. Yet, they were only seen 38 percent of the time; most people never looked at them. Article ads that got seen the most were ones inset into article text. "Skyscraper" ads (thin verticals running in the left or right column) came in third place.

Reviewing 25 leading news websites, we discovered that there's a preponderance of small banner ads on homepages. And it's exceedingly common to find ads in the right column of news homepages. About half of the 25 sites we reviewed inset ads into article text.

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about advertising here.]


Larger online images hold the eye longer than smaller images

News homepages typically use templates, many of which employ a predetermined size for a main image. Although the value of using a template-driven design can (and should) be debated, what we learned about photo size in Eyetrack III may be helpful to those who are wondering just how big a spot to leave for images.

Although we learned that most of our test participants did not look at images first, we also observed that images received a significant number of eye fixations. We also learned that the bigger the image, the more time people took to look at it.

One of our test pages had a postage-stamp sized mug shot that was viewed by 10 percent of our participants. Compare that with an average-sized photo (about 230 pixels wide and deep) that drew gazes from about 70 percent.

We found that images that are at least 210 x 230 pixels in size were viewed by more than half of the testers. Our research also shows that clean, clear faces in images attract more eye fixations on homepages.

Article-level pages seem to follow suit. Again we found that the larger the image, the more users were drawn to it.

In reviewing 25 news websites, we found that about 20 percent routinely use small images on their homepages. Four out of five sites routinely place their homepage main photo in the upper left.

And here's an interesting research tidbit: We noticed that people often clicked on photos -- even though on our test pages that got them nowhere (and indeed, clicking on photos does nothing on many real news sites).

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about images here.]


Text for facts; multimedia graphics for unfamiliar concepts

Overall, we observed that participants were more likely to correctly recall facts, names, and places when they were presented with that information in a text fomat. However new, unfamiliar, conceptual information was more accurately recalled when participants received it in a multimedia graphic format.

So what does this mean? While overall we did see a slight, although not statistically significant, increase in information recall from text stories, we should note that most of our recall questions were about facts, names, and places. Story information about processes or procedures seemed to be comprehended well when presented using animation and text. A step-by-step animation we tested supported this idea.

We also observed that most participants attended to only two forms of media at a time. For example, in one of our testing situations users were presented with audio, still images, and written captions. We observed that they directed their attention to the audio and images. Important information in the photo captions were not read by many.

The bottom line is that the best journalists working in multimedia environments know how to make good choices about the presentation of story information. As demonstrated in this research, some information is best conveyed by the use of good, descriptive writing. Other information is better explained graphically.

[Read more on what Eyetrack III says about multimedia comprehension here, and read additional general multimedia observations here.]


We've covered some of the highlights in this article, but there's lots more, so please spend some time exploring this website. Use the navigation devices at the top of this page and in the left column.


Elizabeth Carr provided research assistance for this article.

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posted by ExclamationMark™
2009. 4. 15. 15:37 0 oR 1

“진실한 관계를 맺는 가장 효과적인 방법은

상대가 말을 많이 하도록 유도하는 것이다.”

처음 만나는 사람뿐 아니라 익숙한 관계에서도 마찬가지다.
말을 많이 하고 난 사람은 자신의 말을 들어준 상대에게

왠지 모를 마음의 빚을 갖게 된다.
상대가 넉넉하고도 부드럽게 자신을 이해한다고 생각되면,

당연히 그에게 매력을 느끼게 된다.

[출처] 끌리는 사람의 백만불짜리 매력, 브라이언 트레이시.론 아덴 지음, 한국경제신문출판
다른 이의 말을 온화하게 잘 들어주는 사람이 있습니다.

반대로 다른 이가 말할 기회를 주지 않고 주로 자신의 말만 하는 사람도 있지요.

대부분의 사람들은 물론 자신의 이야기를 잘 들어주는 사람에게 마음이 갑니다.

사실 자기 이야기를 하는 것은 그리 어렵지 않지만,
남의 이야기를 정성껏 오래 경청해주는 것은 쉬운 일이 아닙니다.
인내심, 배려, 그리고 무엇보다 그 상대에 대한 존경과 사랑이 필요한 일이기 때문입니다.

가끔식 남을 말을 다 듣기도 전에 지레짐작으로 결론을 내버려서 대화의 맥을 끊어버리거나,

자기가 말을 하고 있는 도중에 남이 cut-in하거나 Interactive한 대화의 시도자체도

막아버리고 일방적으로 자기 할 말만 쭉 늘어놓는 사람도 있습니다. 대부분 남을 배려하거나

존경하는 마음이 부족하기 때문입니다. 

여기서 한 걸음 더 나가보면 무엇이 '좋은 충고'인가의 문제와도 연결됩니다.
절망에 빠진 사람이 원하는 것은 이성적이고 냉철한 충고가 아니라
따뜻한 경청이라고 트레이시는 말합니다.
따라서 절대 상대의 이야기를 충분히 듣기도 전에 논리적인 충고를 하려 서두르지 말라고

조언합니다. 충고를 부탁해오는 많은 사람이 사실은 냉철한 충고의 말이 아니라 따뜻한

경청을 원하기 때문입니다.

충분히 들어주었는데도 구체적인 조언을 원한다면,
그때 자신의 생각을 조목조목 말해주어도 늦지 않겠지요.
"우리는 대개 성공한 사람들이란 상당히 거만하고, 상대방을 불편하게 하는

부담스러운 존재일 것이라 상상한다. 하지만 사실은 전혀 다르다.
이들 대부분은 부드럽고, 온화하며, 겸손하고, 상대를 최대한 편하게 해주려 노력한다."

[출처]조셉 L. 바다라코 주니어 지음, 세종서적

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posted by ExclamationMark™
2009. 4. 13. 08:57 0 oR 1

Steps

  1. Place yourself in the other person's shoes. It is often too easy to wonder about how what the other person is telling you is impacting you. As you worry about this, you reflect any tension, annoyance, or irritation back in your body gestures and facial expressions. Active listening is not about inward thinking. Instead, you must draw away from the temptation to do this by looking at the problems from the other person's perspective and actively trying to see his or her point of view. It is not a good idea to consider yourself to be smarter than the speaker and assume that if you would have been in his or her shoes, you would have seen your way through the problem much faster.
  2. Create a conducive physical and mental space. Remove all distractions. Give the speaker 100% of your attention. Turn off cell phones, politely brush aside any interruptions such as waiters or people who suddenly spot you and want to say "hello." It may be easiest to arrange to talk somewhere that such distractions will not occur. Quiet your mind and open yourself to whatever the person might have to say.
  3. Stop talking/be silent. It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening, for many people, is resisting the impulse to 'chime in'. Many people think that silence is awkward, and want to fill it in with their own thoughts. Likewise, many think that empathy means sharing with the listenee similar experiences that the listener has had. Both can be helpful, but they are easily abused. Put aside your own needs, and wait for the other person to talk at their own pace.
  4. Follow and encourage the speaker with body language. Nodding your head will indicate you hear what the speaker is saying, and will encourage them to continue. Adopting body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker (called mirroring) will allow the speaker to relax and open up more.
  5. Practice the empathetic sounding back technique. At appropriate intervals during the conversation, it is helpful to "summarize and restate" and/or "repeat and encourage" the main points:
    • Repeat and encourage: Repeat some of the things said by the speaker. At the same time, encourage the speaker with positive feedback. For example, you might say: "You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. I can see why." Go easy with this technique, however, because if you overwork it, it may come across as being patronizing.
    • Summarize and restate: It is also very useful to summarize what the speaker is saying and restate it in your own words. This is a form of reassuring the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying. It also provides the speaker with an opportunity to correct any mistaken assumptions or misconceptions that may have arisen during the course of the conversation. This is an especially good technique to try when you find yourself getting frustrated or restless in your listening.
  6. Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the topic being discussed. Wait for another person to ask your opinion before interrupting the flow of discussion. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily, and await appropriate breaks in the conversation for summarizing. Abstain from giving direct advice. Instead, let him or her talk the situation out and find his or her own way. Besides, if he or she takes your advice and something goes wrong, he or she will be likely to blame you (whether he or she tells you or not).
  7. Ask meaningful and empowering questions. Do not seek to probe or make the other person defensive. Rather, aim to use questions as a means by which the speaker can begin to reach his or her own conclusions about the concerns or issues being raised. Once you have shown empathetic listening, it is time to move into empowering listening by re-framing the questions that you ask the speaker. For example: "You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. But I cannot understand why you feel blamed rather than merely being asked not to do something that way." Wording the question in this manner presents the speaker with a need to respond directly to your lack of grasping something. In the process of doing so, the speaker should begin to move from a more emotional response to a more constructive response.
  8. Wait for the person to open up. In the process of encouraging a constructive response, an active listener must continue to be patient and let the speaker acquire his or her full flow of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Keep yourself in his or her shoes and try to estimate why he or she is in such a situation.
  9. Use body gestures and facial expressions to express your interest and to unearth what is left unsaid. Active listening involves the entire body and face--both yours and that of the speaker:
    • Your expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of your speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to.
    • Read between the lines: Always be alert for things that have been left unsaid or for cues that can help you gauge the speaker's true feelings. Watch the facial and body expressions of the speaker to try to gather all information you can, not just from the words. Imagine what kind of state of mind would have made you acquire such expressions, body language, and volume.
    • Speak at approximately the same energy level as the other person. This way, he or she will know that the message is getting through and that there is no need to repeat.
  10. Be patient and respect pauses. Do not jump to speak up after the speaker has come to his or her own conclusions or resolutions and there is a pause. It is possible that more is yet to be said by the speaker. Let the speaker be the first to break this silence. You can always come back with your solutions or suggestions next time you talk, or the speaker may ask you to clarify your thoughts or offer more opinions at the time. Listening is about understanding another person, not about making suggestions (unless asked).
  11. Try to reassure the speaker that all is well. Whatever the conclusion of the conversation, let the speaker know that you have been happy to listen and to be a sounding board. Make it clear that you are open to further discussion if need be, but that you will not pressure him or her at all. In addition, reassure the speaker of your intention to keep the discussion confidential. Offer to assist with any solutions if you have the ability, time, and expertise. Do not build up false hopes, however. If the only resource you can provide is to continue to be an active listener, make that very clear; in and of itself, this is a very valuable help to any person.
  12. Accept that everyone has a unique thought process and ways to express himself/herself. Too often we jump to conclusions before others finish talking because we place information we hear into our own thought process. Try not to do that. Instead, look for fine differences if it sounds like the speaker may be agreeing with you, and look for areas he or she might indicate agreement if it sounds like an objection. Understand that you do not need 100% agreement to reach the same decision.
  13. Just because someone is speaking to you, do not presume that they are asking you for your input! All too often we think the other person really wants to know what we think about what they are saying…wrong! Wait, let the speaker ask you for your opinion, thoughts or ideas. Otherwise, you may become the speaker but you will not have a “listener” in the audience! This is a fun exercise. You may be surprised at how many people will NOT ask you for your input. And all these years that you have simply “chimed in” with your input, you thought they actually wanted it.
  14. Most information is not remembered because we are thinking of OUR response to the speaker and therefore missed what was said. Resist the urge to formulate your responses. That is active thinking, not listening. If need be, take notes that will trigger your response should you have opportunity later to share it.

 

Tips

  • Never criticize while listening, and never attack another person for his or her feelings. This spoils your reputation as a listener and will completely remove the speaker's motivation to speak up.
  • Listening is about creating a caring environment in which the other person feels encouraged by your ability to understand.
  • Don't judge anyone for their opinion or actions. Remember you, like everyone else has done or felt something you're not proud of now. ask yourself: "Who am I to judge anyone?"
  • The more you listen, the more trusted you become.
  • The more difficult listening becomes, the more important it is to listen.
  • Remember that when your counterpart feels that he or she has been listened to, he or she is much more likely to listen to your ideas. On the contrary, if no one ever listened to each other, then they would fall victim to bad listening, and would not have a chance to fully express themselves. Your desire to express should begin with listening well to others.
  • Postpone an important conversation if you are not in the mood to listen. It is better to not talk about it if you are not ready than to try to force through a conversation where you are too distracted by emotions, worries, and other things that prevent you from listening.
  • Avoid phrases that imply that you have not listened fully to the points communicated to you such as "Yeah but..." Instead, learn to use phrases that provide confirmation that you have heard the other side fully, such as "I see. Now tell me what you would say to this..."
  • Keep in mind that sometimes we need to listen "between the lines," but there are times when we need to absorb things at face value. When we listen intensively, our minds are often busy placing what we hear into the situation and our emotions, which creates barriers to our ability to listen fully what is being said. This is similar to making judgments and drawing conclusions before all has been said. Don't do that. Take it at its face value and go with the flow
  • Don't start thinking of what to say before they have finished/asked for your input. you may miss something. by the same token, if asked, allow a short pause before a response to give the impression that you've thought carefully about a response.
  • Body language. Face the person you are talking to and try to avoid folding your arms too often. This can give the impression that you are closed off.

 

by wikiHow

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* Romance mathematics (로맨스 수학)

smart man + smart woman = romance

(똑똑한 남 + 똑똑한 녀 = 로맨스)

smart man + dumb woman = affair

(똑똑한 남 + 멍청한 녀 = 불륜)

dumb man + smart woman = marriage

(멍청한 남 + 똑똑한 녀 = 결혼)

dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

(멍청한 남 + 멍청한 녀 = 임신)

* Office arithmetic (사무 공식)

smart boss + smart employee = profit

(똑똑한 사장 + 똑똑한 직원 = 수익)

smart boss + dumb employee = production

(똑똑한 사장 + 멍청한 직원 = 생산)

dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

(멍청한 사장 + 똑똑한 직원 = 승진)

dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

(멍청한 사장 + 멍청한 직원 = 초과 근무)

* Shopping math (쇼핑 산수)

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

(남자는 필요한 $1짜리 물건을 $2에 산다)

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

(여자는 필요없는 $2짜리 물건을 $1에 산다)

* General equations & statistics (전반적인 공식과 통계들)

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

(여자는 남편을 얻을 때까지는 미래에 대한 걱정을 한다)

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

(남자는 부인을 얻을 때까지는 미래에 대한 걱정을 전혀 하지 않는다)

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

(자기의 부인이 쓰는 것보다 많이 버는 남자를 우리는 성공한 남자라 칭한다)

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

(그런 남자를 찾은 여자를 우리는 성공한 여자라 칭한다)

* Happiness (행복)

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him little.

(남자와 행복하기 위해서 당신은 그를 많이 이해하고 사랑은 조금 해야 한다)

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

(여자와 행복하기 위해서 당신은 그녀를 많이 사랑하고 절대 이해하려 해서는 안된다)

* Propensity to change (변화의 경향)

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

(여자는 남자가 변할거라 예상하고 결혼한다. 하지만 그는 변하지 않는다)

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

(남자는 여자가 변하지 않을거라 예상하고 결혼한다. 하지만 그녀는 변한다)

* Discussion technique (토론의 미학)

A woman has the last word in any argument.

(어떠한 말싸움에서도 마지막 말을 하는 사람은 여자다)

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

(그 이후에 남자가 어떤 말을 한다면, 그것은 새로운 말싸움의 시작이다)

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진정한 사랑은 마음으로 나누는 사랑이고

가치 있는 사랑은 오직 한 사람에 대한 사랑이며

헌신적인 사랑은 되돌려 받을 생각 없이 하는 사랑이다.


소중한 사랑은 영원히 간직하고픈 사람과 나누는 사랑이고

행복한 사랑은 마음의 일치에 의하여 나누는 사랑이며

뿌듯한 사랑은 주는 사랑이다.


포근한 사랑은 정으로 나누는 사랑이고

아름다운 사랑은 두 영혼이 하나가 되는 사랑이며

황홀한 사랑은 두 육체가 하나가 되는 사랑이다.


건강한 사랑은 부부끼리 나누는 사랑이고

용기 있는 사랑은 사랑하고픈 사람과 나누는 사랑이며

끈끈한 사랑은 핏줄에 대한 사랑이다.


감격적인 사랑은 오랫동안 떨어졌다 다시 만난 사랑이고

깜찍한 사랑은 아이와 나누는 사랑이며

때묻지 않은 사랑은 첫사랑이다.


순간의 사랑은 마음이 배제된 사랑이고

영원한 사랑은 마음이 합치된 사랑이며

끝없는 사랑은 죽음에 이르러서까지 나누는 사랑이다


불행한 사랑은 사랑해서는 안될 사람과 나누는 사랑이고

값싼 사랑은 사랑의 대상을 자주 바꾸는 사랑이며

천박한 사랑은 육욕에 치우친 사랑이다.


억울한 사랑은 마지 못해서 하는 사랑이고

비참한 사랑은 굶주린 상태에서 하는 사랑이며

가난한 사랑은 받는 사랑이다.


비굴한 사랑은 일방적으로 매달리는 사랑이고

외로운 사랑은 짝사랑이며

아쉬운 사랑은 미련이 남는 사랑이다.


고독한 사랑은 혼자서 나누는 사랑이고

추한 사랑은 강제로 나누는 사랑이며

쓰디쓴 사랑은 이별한 사랑이다.

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2009. 1. 12. 21:21 0 oR 1

산을 오르는 이유   -김제동-


저는 지금 산을 오르는 중입니다. 예전 같으면 산을 타는 중이라고 했겠지만 이제 그렇게 말하지 않습니다. 얼마 전에 한 형님이 그러셨거든요. 산이 너보다 나이가 얼마나 많은데 감히 탄다는 말을 하느냐고. 할머니의 등에 올라타는 게 아니라 등에 업히는 것이듯 산도 그러는 거라고요.

그 말을 떠올리며 입구부터 한 걸음씩 내디뎌 봅니다. 새 마음으로 새해를 출발하고 싶은 사람이 많은지 이 차가운 아침에도 산을 찾은 사람은 꽤 많습니다. 부스럭부스럭 등산복 스치는 소리가 듣기에 좋습니다. 앞을 올려다보니 빨간색 등산복이 점점이 꾸물거리며 올라가는 모습도 보기 좋고요.

가끔 저를 알아보시는 분이 있어 악수를 청하기도 하는데 그럴 때마다 한 번씩 속도를 늦추지만 그것 또한 나쁘지 않습니다. 급할 것은 더더욱 없지요. 산은 언제나 등을 내주며 그 자리에서 기다려 주니까요.

사람을 보고 나무를 보고 나무 사이로 하늘을 올려다보며 걷습니다. 걷다 보면 수없이 많은 잡념이 떠올랐다가 또 한참을 걷다 보면 잡념이 없어지며 머리가 텅 비는 것 같기도 합니다. 그렇게 한 시간쯤 올랐을까, 정상에 어느 정도 가까웠는지 늘 그렇듯 간간이 주저앉아 쉬는 사람이 보입니다. 물을 마시기도 하고 사과를 한 입 베어 물기도 하는 얼굴이 매우 지쳐 보이기보다는 한편 밝아 보여 다행스럽습니다.

한 번쯤 여유롭게 쉬어 가는 일은 원래는 참 좋지 않습니까? 사실 우리는 길 끝을 향해 달리기만 하느라 한 번 쉬어 가도 좋을 길을 죽을 듯이 달리지요. 끝에 무엇이 있는지 생각하느라 가는 길에 있는 것을 하나도 보지 못할 때가 많고요.

정상 향한 달리기는 이제 그만

정상을 향해 허덕이느라 이 많은 나무와 신선한 공기를 외면한다면 등산이 트레드밀(러닝머신) 위를 달리는 일과 무엇이 다르겠습니까. 가족을 위해 열심히 일했지만 일에 매달리느라 정작 가족과는 멀어졌던 우리 아버지들처럼, 그런 슬픈 달리기를 하지 말아야 하지 않겠습니까.

이제 산에서 내려오는 길. 모든 일이 그렇지만 등산에서도 빨리 오르기보다 넘어지지 않고 잘 내려오는 일이 더 중요함을 알기에 굳이 한 번 나무에 기대어 쉬어 줍니다. 잠시 내 몸을 기대게 해준 것이 고마워 비탈에 서 있는 나무를 슬그머니 안아도 봅니다. 아침 해의 기운이 묻어서인지 앙상해 보였던 나무에서 따뜻함이 전해져 오는 것이 참 신기합니다. 나무를 참 좋아한다고 생각했는데 나무를 실제로 안아보는 일은 처음입니다. 살아 있는 나무가 따뜻할 수 있다는 사실. 내가 다가가 안아보기 전에는 결코 알 수 없었던 거지요. 나무는 자기가 움직여 다가올 수 없으니까요.

산에서는 이렇게 작은 것으로부터 많은 생각이 떠오르곤 합니다. 지금까지 그랬듯 앞으로도 오랫동안 그 자리에, 그 비탈에 서 있을 나무와 헤어져 다시 발걸음을 옮기는데 문득 움직이지 못하는 모든 것에게 다가가는 용기를 내고 싶다는 생각이 듭니다. 나무처럼 스스로 움직일 수 없는 것, 몸이 불편해서, 수줍어서, 잘못한 것이 있어서 다가오지 못하는 사람에게. 몇몇 얼굴이 떠오르는 것 같습니다.

가끔 35년이나 잘 살아온 이 세상이 온통 낯설게 느껴질 때가 있습니다. 나만 이상하게 살고 있는 것 같을 때가 있지요. 어느 시인은 사람 사이에 섬이 있고 그 섬에 가고 싶다고 했는데 바다보다 산에서 내려다보는 풍경이 더 익숙한 저에겐 사람이 작은 점처럼 느껴질 때가 있습니다. 서로 이어져 있지 않은 채 드문드문 세상에 박혀 있는 점 말입니다.

내가 어젯밤 어떤 시를 읽었다고 하면 사람들은 술도 안 마셨는데 갑자기 무슨 소리를 하느냐고 합니다. 그래서 내가 작년에 얼마를 벌었다고 하면 사람들은 솔직하다고 하지요. 그저 행복하게 사는 것이 꿈이라고 하면 남자가 목표도 없는 삶을 사는 건 아니냐고 합니다. 그러면서 어떤 사람은 몇 살까지 몇억 원을 버는 것이 인생의 목표라고 당당히 밝히기도 하지요.

세상을 향해 손 내밀 용기 생겨

시보다 돈을 이야기하라고 강요하는, 꿈보다 욕심을, 하늘의 별보다 연예인에 대해 이야기하기를 더 좋아하는 이 세상이 낯설게 느껴질 때면 저는 종종 산의 등에 업히러 갑니다. 산에 업히고 산에서 생각하고 산에서 내려오는 과정이 좋습니다. 누구에게 말하기에는 너무 사소하지만 많은 생각과 많은 이의 얼굴을 떠올리며 걷다 보면 다시 세상을 향해 친하게 손 내밀 용기가 생깁니다. 점처럼 서로 떨어져 사는 사람 사이를 선으로 잇고 싶은 마음이 생겨납니다. 산꼭대기라는 점 하나를 향해 달리는 것이 아니라 오르고 내리는 선을 타고 걷다 보니 그런가 봅니다.

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